Dick riders who need self love

Let’s be honest—there’s a difference between respect and dick riding. Dick riders aren’t operating from loyalty or admiration; they’re operating from insecurity and dependency. This behavior shows up as excessive agreement, lack of independent thought, and attaching oneself to someone else’s authority for validation or protection. While it’s not a clinical diagnosis, it is an unhealthy psychological pattern rooted in low self-worth, fear of rejection, and identity diffusion. When someone doesn’t trust their own voice, they seek safety through proximity instead of grounding within themselves.

Breaking this pattern requires both spiritual discipline and psychological work. Self-love work is essential, beginning with a heavy cleanse to clear dependency, followed by a self-love bath to restore sovereignty and confidence. A traditional self-love bath may include rose petals for self-regard, lavender and chamomile for emotional balance, rosemary for clarity and personal authority, and orange peels to uplift the spirit and renew optimism. This work is about returning to yourself—not seeking permission to exist.

To support sustained self-worth, a self-love lamp may be prepared as long-term focus work. This includes lovage root to promote self-love and attraction, a photo of yourself to anchor the work to your identity, jezebel root for women or High John for men to strengthen personal power, a pinch of bloodroot to honor and involve the ancestors, a magnet to draw aligned opportunities, and a pinch of calamus root to strengthen will, confidence, and self-command. Once placed in the lamp, the elements are prayed over, a few drops of olive oil are added, and the chamber is filled with smokeless, odorless oil to allow the work to move steadily and without interference.

Equally important is therapy, which helps uncover where identity was interrupted or outsourced in the first place. Therapy provides tools to explore self-concept, boundaries, attachment patterns, and voice—areas often underdeveloped in people who rely on approval or proximity to others for stability. Spiritual work clears and strengthens energy; therapy helps rebuild identity in the mind and nervous system. One without the other leaves the work incomplete.

Real confidence is cultivated, not borrowed. Secure people don’t abandon themselves to be accepted—they do the work to know who they are, stand on it, and move from that foundation.

— Lotus Mystic Haven